changing labels?

Oh dear, it seems I am caught in a flurry of labels and none seem to fit, quite.

Not so very long ago, and for a long time before that, my label was a very firm ‘housewife’. I am aware how archaic that sounds nowadays but that is what I was known as. I was a wife and I stayed largely in my husband’s home, ergo, housewife.

As I have mentioned before it was not an especially pleasant situation but it was all I knew for as long as I could remember so had I settled into, as people do, and stayed there until I was wrenched out of it, unceremoniously and swiftly, having been ‘traded-in on a newer model’ as the saying goes.

Within a short time I was no longer the settled housewife, albeit in a very deep rut, but a single woman rendered directionless by circumstance.

Life carried on and a situation came about in which I was to spend a great deal of my day naked about the house. And so I was suddenly a nudist or a naturist, a label to replace housewife.

Then I found that life had provided me with emotional and physical joy and comfort in the arms of a dear friend. Next I am wearing the additional label, lesbian.

From a housewife to a lesbian nudist almost overnight. How does such a thing happen?

Perhaps I am being a little over-dramatic about all this. After all, nobody has actually come out and called me that, I suppose I’m just over-aware of how labels are attached to people now.

If you were to ask me, ‘who are you?, I would answer I am a divorced woman of a certain age who is discovering a fresh life.

Am I being silly to be so wary of labels?

For me, going naked about the house is not a statement of any sort. It’s something I more or less fell into in the presence of one (Audrey) who did it. I find it comfortable and so I continue to do it.

Joining Audrey in my bed or hers to share intimate physical enjoyments does not preclude, in my mind at least, the possibility that I may one day meet a man with whom I could enjoy a relationship, physical or not.

Having said that I will not label myself as ‘bisexual’ either. So much has happened so quickly that frankly, I don’t know which way I favour. The physical relations I had with my ex-husband were never anything I enjoyed. I don’t believe it was because of a tendency in me toward women, more likely it was a lack of any sort of physical attraction or skill in either of us, he or me. Had I been with a man to whom I felt attracted it may well have been different and my foray into the sapphic may never have occurred.

The fact that my first ever orgasm was delivered by a woman (Audrey) does not necessarily prove that I have a proclivity toward the homosexual, though I suspect it may well be so. Should a man have delivered me to the heights of climax would I have never drifted? I can’t really say.

Oh dear, this has all gotten rather more complicated than I had set out for it to be.

I suppose to boil it all down, I was labeled as a housewife for many years and I am afraid, I suppose, of being labeled once more, this time as a nudist and a lesbian.

As a friend I care as deeply as one may for Audrey. As a lover I also care deeply. I wish to take nothing away from the relationship we have come to know in what is really only the last month, the physical aspect at least.

I have no desire to be an example to anyone. I am grasping in the dark to find my way as so many doubtless do. I do suspect however, that Audrey and the naked thing will persist and flourish. I so delight in it.

I imagined for a long time that I would be a housewife forever so all I can say is, we shall see.

Please forgive the rambling. I hope it hasn’t all sounded too dreadfully clinical. I’m trying to get at something elusive.

Until next we meet,

Kate

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6 thoughts on “changing labels?

  1. Labels may only confuse you and make you one of the many. While not labeling yourself you’ll stay an original, despite seen as a confused soul in the world.

  2. I agree with Alex. Labels aren’t necessary. You are who you are no matter what the circumstance. Just stay true to your essence.
    If a label is ever used, based on what you have mentioned, I’d say “Lesbian Nudist and Proud” sounds much better.

    • Staying true to one’s essence is wonderful. It does seem that I am getting nearer to whatever my essence may turn out to be. I do prefer comfortable to proud though, being proud of oneself is a step too far for me. Comfortable and happy will suffice.

  3. While your story is very interesting and enlightening it’s not so unusal as many women have had very similar experiences. We agree with the above comments, also not sure we have to label ourselves either. Just because we have found something in life we enjoy does not mean we have to adopt a label. We are just people trying to enjoy life. It is also not unusal for many men not knowing how to deliver a climax to their lady. There is an old saying, “lovers are not born but made”. Most men have the mind set if it was good for me it was good for her and after they are easily finished so is the love making. As a young man I had the opportunity to have some nice encounters with older women who where not bashful in telling and showing where and when it felt best for a woman. Understanding that there is far more to love making than just all that thrusting is an understatemant. Some nice long foreplay, fingers and a tongue in the right places will take most women to the most beautuful out of world experience they can know. Cuddling afterwards is always a way for both lovers to show appreciation for the experience. Something your female friend already knows. While you continue what you have, you next experience with the opposite sex may require a little coaching if he really wants to please more than just himself. Our best advise is to just try to find happiness no matter what form it comes in.

    • Yes I fear that I may have emphasized sex a wee bit too much. It was my way of showing how much my life has changed of late. I am at heart a somewhat conservative person. I do take your well made point however, limited and disappointing experiences can influence one’s perspective just as positive ones can.

      My feeling is that matters seem to be going in a particular direction that do bring a great deal of happiness so I shall ‘go with the flow’ as one friend likes to say. It’s probably quite a dated expression but then, so am I. 🙂 (this is a smile I believe, such things are something else to learn)

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